BAD JOKES!

inghams chicken are selling boomarang wings but arnt doing so well , they keep coming back

did you know 1 in 10 people don't enjoy gang rape

What did the mermaid do last sunday night? She went to sea a movie.

Where does a general keep his army?
In his sleevy.

A horse enters a bar and walks over to the bartender, the bartender looks at the horse and says, hey buddy, why the long face?

A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey."
The horse says "Sure."

What's the difference between a tennis ball and the prince of Wale's?
One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.

What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?
They all have phones.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

How do you catch a unique animal?
Unique up on him

What did the girl melon say to the boy melon when he proposed to her?
We're too young... we cantaloupe!

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

Did you hear about the Olympic Gold Medal winner from Canada?
He loved his medal so much he had it bronzed.

Why is 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 ate 9 and 10...

HUR HUR HUR!!!

A guys goes into a stripbar and sits in the front row, the guy behind him was yelling and screaming, the guy in the front row tell him to shut up, the lady starts to take off her mini skirt, the guy starts screaming, the guy in the front row tells him to shut up again, then she take her top off, the guy screams again, them she take her bra and pantys of and its dead silence, the guy in the front row says were your excitement now, the guy replys it all over your back

why did the mushroom go to the party?

to get drunk!!

more like why did insurgency go to the party

to get drunk!!!

who's this fucker spammin his video?,stinger can u get rid of them or are we stuck with them?

itsmy signature

yeah were stuck with this random wanker = JOKES! HE HE he cool. He kicks my arse, so he will kick yours ingame.

haha ummm? ?

A Greek and an Italian are arguing about who is the superior race.
The Greek says "We have the parthenon" ,the Italian says "we have the coliseum"
The Greek says "we invented mathematics",the Italian says"we invented fine cuisine"
Then the Greek finds his winning argument, "we invented sex"
"ah yes" says the Italian "but we thought of having it with women!!"

HAHAHAHA THATS SO FUNNY

a mushroom walks in to a bar jumps on a girls lap and says wanna fuk she says eww, he said wot im a fun guy

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
WHERES MY TRACTOR?

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the batmobile.
Robin, get in the batmobile.

how do u get 4 elderly women to say fuck ?

get a 5th to say bingo

what happened when a guy fell in the pool?

-he got wet... -_-

what did the constipated mathematician do?



sat down and worked it out with a pencil

wot did the banana say to the viberator?

why r u shaking she gunna eat me first

wot did 1 gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?

how we gunna find the ovaries in this shit

A bloke walks into a bar and sees and attractive woman sitting alone.
He approaches her and asks her name, ''Carmen'' she says.
''Wow! That's an interesting name did your mother give it to you?''
''No, I gave it to myself, it represents the two things i love most in life! What's yours?''
He pauses for a moment and says ''Beerfuck.'' ; )

I used to want to be Superman, but then he fell off a horse and became quadriplegic.
I was like, ''Fuck that!! He can be Superman. I'm going to be Regular, Walking-Around, Not-Shitting-In-A-Colostomy-Bag Man.''

Masturbation is the leading cause of tissue damage.

I'm not addicted to cocaine, i just like the way it smells.

I've been teaching my dog to live without food and water.. he was just getting the hang of it when he died.

on a serious note my missus go gout

every time i touch her it like get out (u filthy bastard)

As its that time of year....

Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia?
Couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin!
(ref: Sic; Stinger, Sloth n Sheila) lol

10 ants in sum 1's pants 2 were fighting which 1's

the 2 in the ring lol